Well, it feels like forever and a half since I posted anything, but I'm on vacation this week and had some free time to write, so here you go.
To the person deciding whether or not to step of their comfort zone and try something new:
Hey, I know you. Yeah, I might not know you personally, but I know what you're going through. Deciding whether or not to go for it. Wondering if risk could be worth the payoff. Worrying about looking like an idiot, or failing completely, or just planing screwing up. Well, let me tell you my story.
In the spring, I had what I thought was the perfect plan for summer and fall. Me and my friend were going to be cheerleaders for my brother's football team. I had never done anything like that before, but I had talked to the coach, and there were a lot of other girls who hadn't either, so it was fine.
Now, I am super shy, and this was going to be a new group of people, none of whom I new really well, and most I didn't know at all. I never worried about that, though, because I thought my friend was going to do it with me.
After I had already mostly sighed up, I found out my friend wasn't going to do it. I totally freaked out. I didn't know what I was going to do. I was scared to try it without knowing people. The last time I had done something without knowing anybody had been 4 years ago. After talking to my parents, I decided to do it.
Now cheer season is almost over, and I am so glad I did this. It wasn't easy at first, I was in tears and almost quit before the second practice, but ultimately it has been a great experience, and I can't believe I almost missed it. You never know what you might miss if you stay in your comfort zone forever. Now, because I love lists, I'm going to give you a list of things I've learned this season.
1. Not knowing anybody else shouldn't stop you from trying something you really want to. This one was kind of the main the post, but that's because this was my biggest lesson this season. I was so scared to be there, but I went anyway and it was fine.
2. Stepping out of your comfort zone is the best thing you could ever do for yourself. It doesn't feel like it at first, but once you do it, then you open yourself up to being able to have the best experience ever.
3. The hard stuff is always worth it. Guess what? Anything good is going to have hard stuff. There were days I so didn't want to go to practice. I had to do school on Sundays for weeks because I just didn't have time to get it done. On Thursdays I had to go from straight from dance to cheer and I was exhausted those nights. But, by far, the good outweighs bad. I could go on and on about that stuff, but I don't have time right now.
To conclude, I am so blessed to have gotten to be a part this amazing team. I am so glad I stuck with it, and traveled outside my comfort zone. And you there, trying to make a decision, take courage from my story, and take a step from your comfort zone. It might just be the best step you ever take.
Peace Out!
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Monday, June 9, 2014
Stuff I've been doing
So, I told you'd I'd explain why I'd been so busy and not able to post as often as I'd like, and here she is:
This is Blondie, an almost three year old Lab Shar Pei mix, and my Christmas present. We've had Blondie since December 27th, and she is the best (I'd say little, but weighing in at close to 70 lbs, she's anything but little!) girl ever! And with Blondie comes obedience classes, grooming, walks, etc., so I haven't had much time to post.
I've also been finishing up school, except for math, and that has taken up sometime. I still have math, because of stupid Life of Fred. It should of been obvious that any math curriculum named Life of Fred was a bad idea, but my mom still got it. Never mind the fact that last she switched me it took me three years to finally get caught up into my right grade. I went through 3 different curriculums and didn't get a good one until April (the same I'd already been doing before Life of Fred), so of course I didn't finish it, and now I have to do it over the summer. Blehhh!!!!!
This summer I'll try to post more regularly, but I do have a pretty full summer planned, so we'll see how that goes.
Peace Out!
Friday, June 6, 2014
Why I'm not going to see "The Fault in Our Stars"
Sorry it's been so long, I've been crazy busy, but more on that later. Right now I want to talk about something that's been bugging me for a while.
In early February, I think it was, I saw a preview on YouTube for a movie called "The Fault in Our Stars." From what I could tell in those few short minutes it was a movie I'd like to see. Later that day, while I was at a friend's house, she showed me a book that she had recently read and really enjoyed. It was, coincidentally, The Fault in Our Stars. Later that evening I asked my mom if could buy The Fault in Our Stars on Kindle. She looked up reviews (not actual segments of the book) and said yes. I got it and started reading it.
Now, let me tell you something about me. Language bothers me more than the average person. I don't really know why, but it does, and language in a book is worse than in a movie or TV show. There's something about reading it that makes it that much worse.
When I started the book, I hadn't even finished the first chapter before I asked my mom if she was sure it was okay for me to read it. I had already encountered the s-word, b*****d, and several misuses of God's name. She said she hadn't read any of the actual book, but that now days more and more young adult books were beginning to be like that. She said it was my choice to keep reading or not, she wasn't going to tell me I had to stop.
I should have stopped then, but I kept thinking maybe it would get better. Besides, I was into the story at that point, and I figured it didn't matter. There were other not-so-great things in it, premarital sex, Augustus's view of oblivion, a two wrongs make a right view of revenge, to name some.
It took me me till' sometime in April to finish it, because I had to read it in small bites, too much and the language got to me. When I finished it, there were more trailers out and everyone was was excited for the movie. I was too, and I hoped the language wouldn't be as bad as the book.
Yesterday I looked up the Common Sense Media review and the Plugged In review of the movie. I was disappointed by the amount of language it had. "One f-word, six s-words and a smattering of other bad words, including "a‑‑," "b‑‑ch," "b‑‑tard" and "h‑‑‑." God's name is used as an expletive about 30 times, twice paired with "d‑‑n." " (Plugged In's list of the language)
My first thought was: "Why does it matter? I read the book full of language, why shouldn't I see the movie?" But the more I thought about, the more wrong it felt. I'm not saying I can make a list of reasons why it's bad to go see the movie. I can't and I'm not going to try. What I am saying is that it felt wrong. Thinking about going to the movie just didn't feel right. I wondered why. If anything, the language in the movie should be easier to take.
I still don't totally get it, but what I do get is this:
1. I shouldn't be doing any thing I wouldn't God be there with me for. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to watch a movie with God where His name was used as an expletive around 30 times. I realize nothing is perfect, and it is completely unrealistic to avoid anything that takes the Lord's name in vain, but 30 times in 125 minutes, among other bad language, is what I consider to far the other extreme.
2. You aren't the only one paying attention to your choices. I have to friends who are almost 11, and 12, and one day they asked if I had read the book. I said yes and asked if they had. They said no, and the conversation, which always moves rapidly with them, kept going. Later, on a different day, their mom asked me about the book. I told her about the language, and other stuff. *Bella, who is only like, 8 moths older than my sister, said "But Kat has read it, why can't we?" Now, I am several year older than they are, but it sorta hit me that everyone sees what I read, and regardless of how old I am, I still should be setting a good example.
So that's what I have to say about "The Fault in Our Stars". My goal in writing this was not to convince you not to go see it. I honestly don't care whether or not you go. My goal is to educate about the book, and my reasons for not seeing the movie. I really do wish that my friend had told my about the language in the book, because I wouldn't have started it, and "The Fault in Our Stars" would be nothing more than a movie with too much language.
*Not her real name
Peace Out!
In early February, I think it was, I saw a preview on YouTube for a movie called "The Fault in Our Stars." From what I could tell in those few short minutes it was a movie I'd like to see. Later that day, while I was at a friend's house, she showed me a book that she had recently read and really enjoyed. It was, coincidentally, The Fault in Our Stars. Later that evening I asked my mom if could buy The Fault in Our Stars on Kindle. She looked up reviews (not actual segments of the book) and said yes. I got it and started reading it.
Now, let me tell you something about me. Language bothers me more than the average person. I don't really know why, but it does, and language in a book is worse than in a movie or TV show. There's something about reading it that makes it that much worse.
When I started the book, I hadn't even finished the first chapter before I asked my mom if she was sure it was okay for me to read it. I had already encountered the s-word, b*****d, and several misuses of God's name. She said she hadn't read any of the actual book, but that now days more and more young adult books were beginning to be like that. She said it was my choice to keep reading or not, she wasn't going to tell me I had to stop.
I should have stopped then, but I kept thinking maybe it would get better. Besides, I was into the story at that point, and I figured it didn't matter. There were other not-so-great things in it, premarital sex, Augustus's view of oblivion, a two wrongs make a right view of revenge, to name some.
It took me me till' sometime in April to finish it, because I had to read it in small bites, too much and the language got to me. When I finished it, there were more trailers out and everyone was was excited for the movie. I was too, and I hoped the language wouldn't be as bad as the book.
Yesterday I looked up the Common Sense Media review and the Plugged In review of the movie. I was disappointed by the amount of language it had. "One f-word, six s-words and a smattering of other bad words, including "a‑‑," "b‑‑ch," "b‑‑tard" and "h‑‑‑." God's name is used as an expletive about 30 times, twice paired with "d‑‑n." " (Plugged In's list of the language)
My first thought was: "Why does it matter? I read the book full of language, why shouldn't I see the movie?" But the more I thought about, the more wrong it felt. I'm not saying I can make a list of reasons why it's bad to go see the movie. I can't and I'm not going to try. What I am saying is that it felt wrong. Thinking about going to the movie just didn't feel right. I wondered why. If anything, the language in the movie should be easier to take.
I still don't totally get it, but what I do get is this:
1. I shouldn't be doing any thing I wouldn't God be there with me for. I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to watch a movie with God where His name was used as an expletive around 30 times. I realize nothing is perfect, and it is completely unrealistic to avoid anything that takes the Lord's name in vain, but 30 times in 125 minutes, among other bad language, is what I consider to far the other extreme.
2. You aren't the only one paying attention to your choices. I have to friends who are almost 11, and 12, and one day they asked if I had read the book. I said yes and asked if they had. They said no, and the conversation, which always moves rapidly with them, kept going. Later, on a different day, their mom asked me about the book. I told her about the language, and other stuff. *Bella, who is only like, 8 moths older than my sister, said "But Kat has read it, why can't we?" Now, I am several year older than they are, but it sorta hit me that everyone sees what I read, and regardless of how old I am, I still should be setting a good example.
So that's what I have to say about "The Fault in Our Stars". My goal in writing this was not to convince you not to go see it. I honestly don't care whether or not you go. My goal is to educate about the book, and my reasons for not seeing the movie. I really do wish that my friend had told my about the language in the book, because I wouldn't have started it, and "The Fault in Our Stars" would be nothing more than a movie with too much language.
*Not her real name
Peace Out!
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Kat On: Why I write
I love to write. Seriously, it is one of my favorite things to do. In fact, one of the main reasons I started this blog was because I just love writing. There are a few reasons I love writing, so I'll put them in a list. (I love lists too)
1. To Feel Like I Belong
This is a tricky one to explain. I always feel a little on the edge, like there are few places I really "click". One of them is my writing. I love writing something and then people telling me they like it. It always makes me a little nervous every time I post something, because I really want people to like it. The night after I posted my Halloween article I swear I thought I might have a heart attack.
2. To Express Myself
I know a lot of writing is like this, but this is one of the most important ones to me. Often I'll get an idea, or disagree with something, and I need to tell someone. It sticks in my head until I do something! So I write. I write down my thoughts and then I share them.
3. I Love It
This is the main reason I write, and the one that takes the least explanation.
So, there you have it. This is why I write. Write more later!
Peace out!
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Kat On: Halloween
Before I begin, I want to let you know that this is not meant to offend anyone. If you are the kind of person who gets offend easily, you probably should not read this post.
Halloween! One of the most controversial subjects among Christians. My family has always let us trick-or-treat, and, while I knew some families who didn't, that was never questioned in our family. Recently I saw a blog post go around that basically boiled down to why Halloween was evil and that we should avoid it. While I respect that they have their own opinions, much of the logic was flawed in their reasoning. I am going to sort out their reasoning and give my own about why Halloween is fine.
1. Halloween glorifies evil, not God.
Halloween now days is not what it used to be. While in the past it may of been used to glorify
evil things, now it really is just about candy. If you polled kids on what they think Halloween
means, the majority of them would say that it's about getting candy. Granted some of the
costumes people wear aren't great, but you'll always have bad people no matter what you talk
about. People do bad things on Valentines day and New Years and other holidays, yet we still
celebrate them.
2. If the seed is bad, the fruit will be bad.
Out of all the reasons not to celebrate Halloween, this is the most illogical one yet. First of all, it's a logical fallacy. Genetic fallacy is rejecting something just because of its roots. Halloween is not bad because its roots. Also, even if somethings roots can corrupt it, Christmas should be corrupt too. After all, Christmas started out as Saturnalia, a festival worshiping the Roman god Saturn. Gradually it became one of the most special to us holidays ever. If we aren't going to hold Christmas's roots against it, why should we hold Halloween's roots against it?
3. Don't dine with demons.
Once again, while in the past Halloween was thought of as a holiday where demons and ghosts walked around the earth, that is not the case now. The only ghost you might see while trick-or-treating is a little kid walking around with a sheet thrown over their head. Not the same thing, is it?
4. Halloween is an excuse to flaunt sexuality.
This can be true about anything. You could say New Years is an excuse to put on skimpy party clothes and go crazy. Last year I saw a not so appropriate music video on TV at Christmastime. If you are searching for an excuse, you will find one no matter what the holiday. If you are the kind of person who would dress like that, you are going to do Halloween or not.
5. We play how we practice.
This is true, in a sense. The truth is you set up how you practice and play. My parents never let us really be anything that might scare people. We were never witches or devils, nothing of that sort. We did carve a pumpkin but just for fun. We trick-or-treated for candy. You make control what you make of Halloween, whether you make it just about candy, or something more.
6. Are we causing others to stumble.
While this is a good question to think about, once again it applies to more than Halloween. No matter what you do, make sure you are not causing others to stumble. How you act on Halloween can just as easily cause someone to stumble as how you act on Christmas. This principle, while it should always be taken in to consideration, is not a reason to quit Halloween.
7. Be faithful in small things.
While this is obliviously true, it applies to more than Halloween. Participating in Halloween is in no way unfaithful. Halloween now days is not wrong.
8. God want to bless us - but not in the way the world blesses.
This is true, but, if you really think about it, this includes things like Christmas presents and Easter baskets too. Christmas presents were also part of a pagan holiday honoring a god other than the one true God. Should stop giving gifts at Christmastime? Easter baskets were never mentioned in the Bible as part of Easter, only recently have we added them in to Easter along with the Easter Bunny, who is definitely not in the Bible either. Does this mean they should be shunned too? If this really is such a big thing, why aren't people up in arms over these things?
9. There is sin in the camp.
True, but in anything you look at this is apparent. Should we avoid books because there are sinful books out there? Anything you look at, TV, movies, games, parties, anything has sinfulness in it somewhere. It may not be super obvious, but it's there. We can't just live with are heads under rocks till' death. We live in a fallen world and have to come to terms with that fact.
10. Come out from them and be separate.
This is true no matter the day. The question is, "Can we do this even if we celebrate Halloween?" I believe the answer is yes. Our costumes and actions are what will set us apart. We can let our actions be a light to people on Halloween.
I know that was kind of a lot, but thanks for staying with me. These are just my opinions and I'd like to hear yours. Comment below and tell me what to think.
Peace out!
P.S. I got the reasons from this post:
http://www.prophezine.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=676%3A10-reasons-i-kissed-halloween-goodbye&catid=41%3Atop-headlines
Halloween now days is not what it used to be. While in the past it may of been used to glorify
evil things, now it really is just about candy. If you polled kids on what they think Halloween
means, the majority of them would say that it's about getting candy. Granted some of the
costumes people wear aren't great, but you'll always have bad people no matter what you talk
about. People do bad things on Valentines day and New Years and other holidays, yet we still
celebrate them.
2. If the seed is bad, the fruit will be bad.
Out of all the reasons not to celebrate Halloween, this is the most illogical one yet. First of all, it's a logical fallacy. Genetic fallacy is rejecting something just because of its roots. Halloween is not bad because its roots. Also, even if somethings roots can corrupt it, Christmas should be corrupt too. After all, Christmas started out as Saturnalia, a festival worshiping the Roman god Saturn. Gradually it became one of the most special to us holidays ever. If we aren't going to hold Christmas's roots against it, why should we hold Halloween's roots against it?
3. Don't dine with demons.
Once again, while in the past Halloween was thought of as a holiday where demons and ghosts walked around the earth, that is not the case now. The only ghost you might see while trick-or-treating is a little kid walking around with a sheet thrown over their head. Not the same thing, is it?
4. Halloween is an excuse to flaunt sexuality.
This can be true about anything. You could say New Years is an excuse to put on skimpy party clothes and go crazy. Last year I saw a not so appropriate music video on TV at Christmastime. If you are searching for an excuse, you will find one no matter what the holiday. If you are the kind of person who would dress like that, you are going to do Halloween or not.
5. We play how we practice.
This is true, in a sense. The truth is you set up how you practice and play. My parents never let us really be anything that might scare people. We were never witches or devils, nothing of that sort. We did carve a pumpkin but just for fun. We trick-or-treated for candy. You make control what you make of Halloween, whether you make it just about candy, or something more.
6. Are we causing others to stumble.
While this is a good question to think about, once again it applies to more than Halloween. No matter what you do, make sure you are not causing others to stumble. How you act on Halloween can just as easily cause someone to stumble as how you act on Christmas. This principle, while it should always be taken in to consideration, is not a reason to quit Halloween.
7. Be faithful in small things.
While this is obliviously true, it applies to more than Halloween. Participating in Halloween is in no way unfaithful. Halloween now days is not wrong.
8. God want to bless us - but not in the way the world blesses.
This is true, but, if you really think about it, this includes things like Christmas presents and Easter baskets too. Christmas presents were also part of a pagan holiday honoring a god other than the one true God. Should stop giving gifts at Christmastime? Easter baskets were never mentioned in the Bible as part of Easter, only recently have we added them in to Easter along with the Easter Bunny, who is definitely not in the Bible either. Does this mean they should be shunned too? If this really is such a big thing, why aren't people up in arms over these things?
9. There is sin in the camp.
True, but in anything you look at this is apparent. Should we avoid books because there are sinful books out there? Anything you look at, TV, movies, games, parties, anything has sinfulness in it somewhere. It may not be super obvious, but it's there. We can't just live with are heads under rocks till' death. We live in a fallen world and have to come to terms with that fact.
10. Come out from them and be separate.
This is true no matter the day. The question is, "Can we do this even if we celebrate Halloween?" I believe the answer is yes. Our costumes and actions are what will set us apart. We can let our actions be a light to people on Halloween.
I know that was kind of a lot, but thanks for staying with me. These are just my opinions and I'd like to hear yours. Comment below and tell me what to think.
Peace out!
P.S. I got the reasons from this post:
http://www.prophezine.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=676%3A10-reasons-i-kissed-halloween-goodbye&catid=41%3Atop-headlines
Friday, October 11, 2013
Homework
Now, I know what you're probably thinking. "You're home schooled, all your work is homework." That is mostly true, but when you take online classes or co-op classes there is usually homework involved. I am currently taking an online essay class that my mom is reviewing, and I have a good bit of homework. It shouldn't be that hard, break it down over a few days and get it done by Friday. Easy, right? Wrong. I am a procrastinator by nature, and a whole week quickly becomes four o' clock on Friday and the stuff has to be emailed to her by 5. Yikes! I am currently working on a strategy to fix this, but till then I'm still doing a lot of work on Friday. I hope you have a better strategy for tackling homework.
Peace out!
Peace out!
Friday, September 13, 2013
How to make introverts more comrfortable
Hi readers! I decided to do a little segment on introverts and how to make them feel more comfortable. I myself am an introvert, and I found a list of 12 ways to make introverts feel more comfortable. These are my thoughts on that list, and some ways I know make me feel more comfortable.
Some notes before I begin: One, I refer to introverts as group. I might be totally wrong and this stuff applies to just me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. I am not a psychologist and have not really studied introverts. Also, some of this may apply to extroverts. I have no idea if some of this stuff applies to both.
OK, no more notes. Here's the list.
1. Respect Their Need For Privacy
I think this one might apply to everyone. Introverts tend to need more privacy though. I know I typically tend keep more stuff private than my extrovert brother.
2. Never Embarrass Them In Public
An introvert can not laugh it off the way most extroverts can.
3. Let Them Observe First In New Situations
Don't pressure them when you introduce them to a new situation. We need time to observe and analyse the situation.
4. Give Them Time To Think, Don't Demand Instant Answers
If you ask them a question and they don't answer right away don't assume they didn't hear you or are ignoring you. Give us a little time to organize our thoughts before we answer.
5. Don't Interrupt Them
It's never polite to interrupt anyone, but when you interrupt an introvert they typically are not going to continue to try and talk. They simply don't talk. I am not a talkative person at all, and if you interrupt me I just don't say anything.
6. Give Them Advance Notice Of Changes Expected In Their Lives
I like to know as far ahead as possible anything that will be changing.
7. Give Them 15 Minute Warnings To Finish Whatever They Are Doing
We don't like to be rushed, so it helps us if we know exactly how long is left.
8. Reprimand Them Privately
Please do not fuss at us in front of a lot of people. I was never a kid who was fussed at by teachers, but the few times I was I literally almost cried.
9. Teach Them New Skills Privately
Introverts tend to be very self-conscious, and when learning a new skill it is best to do it privately.
10. Enable Them To Find One Best Friend With Similar Interests And Abilities
An introvert doesn't need a crowd of people, we need a few close friends.
11. Don't Push Them To Make Lots Of Friends
We don't need a huge group, and having a bunch of not very close friendships is not how introverts roll.
12. Respect Their Introversion, Don't Try To Turn Them Into Extroverts
This is the most important one. Introverts have trouble being their selves, and if you pressure us to be extroverts it it makes us very uncomfortable.
Hope this helped you view introverts in a new way. Here are my own do's and don'ts for dealing with introverts.
Do: Talk to them
Just because I don't talk a lot doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. It helps if you talk directly to them. Then they don't have work to insert themselves into the conversation, you've helped them do that.
Don't: Think that because they aren't speaking they don't want to talk
This one is basically the same as the one above, but it is an important concept. We want to be included, we just aren't sure how to insert our selves.
Don't: Let it bother you that we don't talk a lot
Believe it or not, we can sense if it bothers you that we are quiet. There are several people I can think of right off the bat that I feel it bothers them I don't talk much. Give us time, and we will open up. It takes a while for us to get comfortable.
Don't: Tell us we're quiet, especially in front of other people
If you tell me I'm quiet, at best it does nothing, at worst it puts me on the spot and I'm even less likely to talk. Even more important is the part about not calling them out in front of people. I had an instructor who was telling me and my group about an activity we were going to do that involved speaking in front of the whole group. She then proceeded to say, "Even you, Kathryne, I know you're quiet and shy." I was so embarrassed! Now, this group consisted primarily of people I did not know, and I had tried hard that evening to be more outgoing. When she said that, not only did it embarrass me, but it made me feel like she didn't care that I had tried so hard to be less quiet and shy. Needless to say, telling us we are quiet is not a good thing.
I hope you enjoyed reading about introverts. Comment below and tell me what you think.
Peace out!
Some notes before I begin: One, I refer to introverts as group. I might be totally wrong and this stuff applies to just me. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry. I am not a psychologist and have not really studied introverts. Also, some of this may apply to extroverts. I have no idea if some of this stuff applies to both.
OK, no more notes. Here's the list.
1. Respect Their Need For Privacy
I think this one might apply to everyone. Introverts tend to need more privacy though. I know I typically tend keep more stuff private than my extrovert brother.
2. Never Embarrass Them In Public
An introvert can not laugh it off the way most extroverts can.
3. Let Them Observe First In New Situations
Don't pressure them when you introduce them to a new situation. We need time to observe and analyse the situation.
4. Give Them Time To Think, Don't Demand Instant Answers
If you ask them a question and they don't answer right away don't assume they didn't hear you or are ignoring you. Give us a little time to organize our thoughts before we answer.
5. Don't Interrupt Them
It's never polite to interrupt anyone, but when you interrupt an introvert they typically are not going to continue to try and talk. They simply don't talk. I am not a talkative person at all, and if you interrupt me I just don't say anything.
6. Give Them Advance Notice Of Changes Expected In Their Lives
I like to know as far ahead as possible anything that will be changing.
7. Give Them 15 Minute Warnings To Finish Whatever They Are Doing
We don't like to be rushed, so it helps us if we know exactly how long is left.
8. Reprimand Them Privately
Please do not fuss at us in front of a lot of people. I was never a kid who was fussed at by teachers, but the few times I was I literally almost cried.
9. Teach Them New Skills Privately
Introverts tend to be very self-conscious, and when learning a new skill it is best to do it privately.
10. Enable Them To Find One Best Friend With Similar Interests And Abilities
An introvert doesn't need a crowd of people, we need a few close friends.
11. Don't Push Them To Make Lots Of Friends
We don't need a huge group, and having a bunch of not very close friendships is not how introverts roll.
12. Respect Their Introversion, Don't Try To Turn Them Into Extroverts
This is the most important one. Introverts have trouble being their selves, and if you pressure us to be extroverts it it makes us very uncomfortable.
Hope this helped you view introverts in a new way. Here are my own do's and don'ts for dealing with introverts.
Do: Talk to them
Just because I don't talk a lot doesn't mean I don't have anything to say. It helps if you talk directly to them. Then they don't have work to insert themselves into the conversation, you've helped them do that.
Don't: Think that because they aren't speaking they don't want to talk
This one is basically the same as the one above, but it is an important concept. We want to be included, we just aren't sure how to insert our selves.
Don't: Let it bother you that we don't talk a lot
Believe it or not, we can sense if it bothers you that we are quiet. There are several people I can think of right off the bat that I feel it bothers them I don't talk much. Give us time, and we will open up. It takes a while for us to get comfortable.
Don't: Tell us we're quiet, especially in front of other people
If you tell me I'm quiet, at best it does nothing, at worst it puts me on the spot and I'm even less likely to talk. Even more important is the part about not calling them out in front of people. I had an instructor who was telling me and my group about an activity we were going to do that involved speaking in front of the whole group. She then proceeded to say, "Even you, Kathryne, I know you're quiet and shy." I was so embarrassed! Now, this group consisted primarily of people I did not know, and I had tried hard that evening to be more outgoing. When she said that, not only did it embarrass me, but it made me feel like she didn't care that I had tried so hard to be less quiet and shy. Needless to say, telling us we are quiet is not a good thing.
I hope you enjoyed reading about introverts. Comment below and tell me what you think.
Peace out!
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